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Sockeytome
The Hotwife Trend
Would opening your relationship save it or destroy it? In this provocative episode, we tackle the increasingly popular relationship trend known as "hot wifing"—where couples consensually invite a third person into their sexual experiences while participating together.
Far from a simple discussion about sex, our conversation explores how this practice fundamentally differs from both traditional open relationships and cuckolding. While many might dismiss it as taboo, we unpack how it potentially creates unprecedented levels of trust, honesty, and communication between partners.
"The longer the leash you give them, the closer they stay," becomes our surprising insight into why this practice might actually strengthen rather than weaken relationship bonds. We candidly discuss how untapped desires and unspoken needs often lead couples into communication deadlocks, and why addressing these taboos head-on could transform relationships even if partners never act on the fantasies.
The conversation doesn't shy away from potential pitfalls. We acknowledge that pressure, unequal enthusiasm, or poor communication could turn this experience into a relationship-ender rather than a relationship-saver. And we tackle the uncomfortable truth that many relationships need serious communication renovation before even considering such adventures.
Through our honest dialogue, we challenge conventional wisdom about relationships, questioning whether traditional monogamy serves everyone equally well, and whether modern couples might benefit from more courageous conversations about their needs and desires. We also explore fascinating gender differences in attraction and how these influence relationship dynamics.
Whether you're curious about alternative relationship models, looking to improve communication with your partner, or simply interested in understanding evolving social trends, this episode offers valuable insights into human connection, vulnerability, and the ever-changing landscape of modern relationships.
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hey everybody, welcome to sake to me. Hey, everybody, welcome back to sake to me, where we connect people to people, even if it includes hot wifing. Hey it, it's me Detto. I'm back here with Casey, hi everyone, and we are going to get into that whole new trend that seems to be taking the country by storm, at least in porn. Oh boy, hot wifing is a thing that's up and coming.
Speaker 1:Hot wifing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, tell me about it.
Speaker 1:I've seen it. I did not see it on the porn thing, that's not where it popped up for me. But yeah, apparently guys let their wives do things with other guys.
Speaker 2:I don't think that's really it.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, that's the start of it, I guess, right.
Speaker 2:Well, I think it's more than that. I think it's an intimate thing with couples.
Speaker 1:I agree, I think you have to obviously have a very strong agreement relationship, commitment to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, obviously yeah, but I think it's got the possibility to work wonders.
Speaker 1:I agree, I could see how that could work.
Speaker 2:I mean it's like it's opening up the ability to be as free as you can, not feeling trapped in a line of communication that has never really been open before.
Speaker 1:Right Together, right Together, yes, yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not like you're going around cheating, but you get a sense of that freedom a little bit, right, and you guys get to talk about it, yeah, which will open up other things. Because the trust gets built, yes, thing is, because the trust gets built, yes, right, I didn't even realize it was a trend like it is I didn't either until you said it to me and I'm like yeah, I know what it is. Do you know what?
Speaker 1:how hot wifing is? Yeah, hot wifing. You called it house wifing.
Speaker 2:I know not house wifing it's a whole different thing, whole different thing.
Speaker 1:That's what trad yeah, those are the people I like, the whole gender.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm gonna cook clean, do all that, yeah we'll touch on that a little bit later, but uh, what are your thoughts on this?
Speaker 1:I don't know. I mean I can see if you're in the relationship that you've talked about all of it, you're open and you're honest and you can commit to that and that's what you both want. I mean I can see how it could be a good thing. It's not a terrible thing if you're all in agreement, obviously, which I think you have to be right well, yeah it's.
Speaker 2:It's hard to say.
Speaker 1:I guess if you go into it, you at least your first time you have no idea how it's going to become well, true, I mean, I guess but even that you've talked about it before you've gone into it and agreed that maybe it won't go as well as you think it's going to go exactly, but you'll at least both know at that point, correct, because this is completely different than having an open relationship yeah, because you do.
Speaker 2:you do this together Exactly. It's like the other person is just a live sex toy. Really, that's what it is.
Speaker 1:I know it's funny to think about it that way, but yes, yeah, the open relationship is probably even harder. I would think I don't know.
Speaker 2:The open relationship was a bad version of this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because you're doing it on your own.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it kept secrets and started things You're doing it on your own?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it kept secrets and started things. It's like if you don't tell somebody, they don't know, so who knows if they're really telling you everything, right? So, yeah, this at least the other person's involved in. It seems like it's something you're doing together as a couple as opposed to separately, right?
Speaker 2:So I'm not against it and even if you guys talked about it and decided not to do it Right, married talked about it and decided not to do it right, married couple decides not to do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that line of communication will still open up other types of communication and trust yeah, absolutely so I think it's a fucking great thing yeah, I mean, it's hard to see that it could well. I mean, I guess you could see that it could be a bad thing, but obviously these are things that people are both in agreement to, where the open relationship. There is definitely more of a risk of misinterpretation. Oh, you should have done this, you should have done that. You were supposed to tell me all those things where this, you're doing it together. How do you argue that?
Speaker 2:you can't, because you did it together exactly and then nobody's so nobody's at fault yeah, right, yeah, but I guess, like you said, it could go bad. It could be like you didn't think it was like you thought it was going to be, absolutely. And your partner thought it was better than they thought it was going to be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and now you can argue for it, because now you're like, well, I don't want to do it, oh man, but if you can work through that, there's one more thing that you can work through. So who knows? I just find it funny because every time I ever look at a porn site, it's always hot wife, hot wife, hot, really yeah, and I never understood. I thought it was just a thing in porn yeah, the article popped up randomly the other day son of a gun.
Speaker 2:Huh, yeah, it's, I don't know. I personally think it's a great thing. I've already said that I think and it's it's much better than cuckolding, which is the newer, more modern form of cuckolding, because it was more like a dominance thing for cuckolds okay the guy would have to sit in a corner right tied up like he just came from a bakery oh my god didn't get to do anything so bad. He looked like Hannibal Lecter with a mask on and stuff.
Speaker 1:It is a little odd.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just like what the hell.
Speaker 1:What does it go the other way? Wives watch their husbands.
Speaker 2:I don't see why it can't or shouldn't, but dudes are ugly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, but so are some women, but yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, that's true, that's a good point.
Speaker 1:But it popped up like one thing that said you know hot husbanding? And it said it's not as frequent because because it's hard to find guys that are ugly or that attractive we're all fat and hairy, which is awful to think of I also don't think men and women actually view sex in the same way. It's definitely viewed differently, I think, on each perspective, and I don't know that that means that you can't agree on things, but I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know how to say this. I don't think women look at men the way men look at women, Like we're talking about hot wifing.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And then we said hot husbands, there aren't any. I don look at women like we're talking about hot, wifing right. And then we said hot husbands, there aren't any. I don't think you guys are, I don't think I don't think females look at males like they're oh, they're hot. They don't. They look at him like he's funny, he works he does this, that's what you're attracted to, right, not so. Men are superficial. Basically is what I'm saying I don't know.
Speaker 1:There's definitely an attraction with looks and things like that as well.
Speaker 2:Of course there is, or else we wouldn't have the Ben Afflecks and Brad Pitts of the world.
Speaker 1:Right, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there are. I get it, but when you go look at any magazine, there's usually women all over it. Beautiful women, true. How many gorgeous men do you see anywhere? I'm like there's no male swimsuit issue you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:You're right, there's no male swimsuit.
Speaker 2:Swimsuit issue yeah, there's no, mr america is there?
Speaker 1:there might be. I feel like there is like a mr universe or something so they might not want to go that far they don't broadcast it.
Speaker 2:Now there is beach volleyball for men, but it's not nearly as popular as women, women's beach, because they're in bikinis.
Speaker 1:That's my point to this I get it, I hear you. Yeah, I don't, I don't know. I think there's still definitely that attraction. I think you just don't see it as frequently, don't they have, like the fire calendars, the fireman calendars?
Speaker 2:that's a solid point. Yes, but that's with a profession. I'm not. I'm not looking at secretary calendars. Do you know what I mean? I'm done good. Oh, when's the new female attorney calendar come out? Never know it's coming out. When is it?
Speaker 1:what's the new female attorney calendar come out. Never know, it's coming out.
Speaker 2:When's the new bank lady, the new librarian calendar?
Speaker 1:True, okay, I get you?
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying. Women are more attracted to not necessarily physical looks and features, but more intelligence, true Security, right Stuff like that. Now there are features you're going to, but more intelligence, true Security, right Stuff like that. Now there are features you're going to be attracted to. Yeah, but I could be a big, fat, chubby guy, which I am.
Speaker 1:Oh God.
Speaker 2:With a sense of humor and generally just a nice overall, affable appearance, and you might be attracted to me.
Speaker 1:Possibly.
Speaker 2:But you're not looking at me because I'm like chiseled from stone.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, you are not chiseled from stone at this point. So yeah, you can pretend that.
Speaker 2:No, I'm chiseled from a pear, a pear, I'm pear-shaped, pear-shaped, oh my God. Anyway, yeah, it's crazy because I feel like this should have happened a very long time ago.
Speaker 1:Well, who knows, maybe it did, we just aren't aware of it. It wasn't a talked about thing.
Speaker 2:I will go out on a limb and I'll say, if it did and it was a trend like this and it was up and coming as fast as it is divorce would have dropped.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I mean, do you really think that would save a marriage? I don't think that saves things, makes things a little spicier, you know whatever, but I don't know that it's going to save something.
Speaker 2:If you were ever put in that situation, would you do that?
Speaker 1:No, Possibly, but I don't think that would save or ruin something. You already have to be on that level of trust and be okay with things in agreement in order to be at that point, and I don't see how that would save a marriage.
Speaker 2:Well, let's face it, marriage is stuck in a rut sometimes.
Speaker 1:I save a marriage. Well, let's face it, marriage is stuck in a rut. Sometimes I hate using that term, yeah, but it's not only sex that's the issue.
Speaker 2:Usually yes. There's a lot of things going on and that's why this is becoming. Anybody that has been interviewed or asked about it or you know willingly enough to reply to it, has said it's helped and saved their marriages.
Speaker 1:Actually saved, like helped, okay, because everybody has, changes things up and gives you something new, and it's definitely something you could do together, which is nice but, like we were talking about earlier, it changes your way you speak to each other correct, which will start to change everything else around you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, yeah, so basically it becomes a different way of looking at something where it was always supposed to be taboo to have multiple sexual partners, now you're doing this together, so it opens up different avenues and different things and you can discuss things differently because now you're both looking at it more in the same direction, right, which is like giving somebody the longer the leash you give them, the closer they stay. True. So people a lot of times people in relationships have wants and needs that they don't say.
Speaker 1:Agree.
Speaker 2:And because of that, that's when you end up getting stuck in a rut. You just do the same thing over and over becomes routine. This is a little spark plug for both of you to do. I'm not saying you have to do it. You could just decide to go out and take art classes together too. Right, probably the same thing, right maybe a little bit different, but yes but all in all, we all know that we're checking out other people, no matter what you can say. You don't do it, but you do, I do it.
Speaker 2:I do it all the time right uh, and then you wonder sometimes about different stuff, and then you're like and then you talk to people and they're talking about things they do and you're like, why don't we do those things and all that stuff? Because you don't speak to each other in a manner which is going to help you get to those points Right. This is one of those things that breaks down a massive barrier in relationships. It allows you to be able to talk to each other more openly, more honestly, more frankly, and then you can realize they can begin to realize that you can do that with other things also, so everything begins to improve now.
Speaker 1:It can also cause issues. It can also cause issues, so Because one may not be as open and they may even go along with it to try and make the other person happy. But that's you see that, oh, I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it, and then you get to that point, and are they really going to do it? And then it turns into a disaster.
Speaker 2:So You're in a rut, you're in a routine, you're both like tired of everything, you're not really getting along. It could be heading for divorce anyway. Most likely is, given the statistics that have been put out there, right, and it and people begin to start looking elsewhere for excitement and fun and stuff like that, right. So you're headed for a divorce, most likely anyway, given the nature of the statistics. Only right, you're gonna get divorced anyway. What do you got to get divorced anyway? What do you get to lose at that point? What do you have to lose by not doing this?
Speaker 1:Listen, I don't think bringing it up or talking about it is a terrible thing for anything. If it's something somebody really wants especially like if that's something you're looking to think about and do and it's a fantasy, you have, great.
Speaker 2:First of all, if you really want it, if you're really trying to push this, push your partner into it, right, you're going to fail.
Speaker 1:True.
Speaker 2:You're going to fail at it because you obviously already want it way more than you have the wrong intentions of this Agree, right, yeah. You have to have delicate conversations with your significant other about it for a little bit to feel them out and just get those lines of communication open and going. Yeah, it's like building a river. It'll start as a trickle and then turn into a massive Mississippi and if you do it wrong you'll ruin it all anyway. That's a lot of times where it comes from.
Speaker 1:I mean, I don't know the statistics on who's open to things, who's not.
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't have any of that Exactly, so who?
Speaker 1:knows, I mean your partner may be very.
Speaker 2:Against it.
Speaker 1:Totally horrified that you even brought it up.
Speaker 2:Right, which means, and if you want it, you have to start thinking about whether or not you've made the right person your partner for life. Yeah, these are some of the things that were never able to be talked about because they're so taboo.
Speaker 1:Right, no, I know yeah.
Speaker 2:And now I would go out on a limb and say that if you're in a marriage and it's not going all that well, if your option was to cheat, go out and cheat on your spouse, right, you should do this first if your partner's willing no, bring it up oh, bring it up, not go out and fulfill the act but bring this up.
Speaker 2:You should bring this up first and then find out. I, because instead of just going out there and doing it, you've you're going to ruin the marriage anyway. But if you bring it up, at least you have the opportunity to maybe not do that and still get some satisfaction for yourself out of this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I see what you're saying. I just think that a lot of people are not going to be as open to it and would be offended by it and maybe just take it as a and going and cheating. And doing something on your own is again different than doing what we discussed, this hot wifing thing. That is totally different than cheating. I know it is.
Speaker 2:But if you're leaning toward that way in your relationship, this would be a better avenue to bring up first. Then at least if your spouse was not into it, did not want to do that.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Now you can make a decision. You obviously know that this isn't going in a direction you would like it to. The responsible thing to do is file for divorce, get out and go find somebody else. But you would be able to say to yourself, well, cheating, it's my only option now, right, because you brought it up. And then you say, well, you don't want to do this, I'm going to go out there and do it myself.
Speaker 1:No, that's not the same thing, though that's bad advice.
Speaker 2:No, that was bad advice, it was a joke.
Speaker 1:Like no.
Speaker 2:I don't see the harm in it.
Speaker 1:I don't see the harm if it's something, Especially if it's something you Listen.
Speaker 2:It's not something every single couple is ever going to discuss. I think it's something that every single couple should entertain, at least Really. Yes, absolutely All right. In fact, when you go to get married in a church, the priest should ask you about this stuff.
Speaker 1:The priest should ask you huh.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:He knows more than anybody else, it might be against the priest's beliefs. Yeah, I mean, I think if it's something you guys want to talk about and get into, that's fine.
Speaker 2:I mean, everybody has their own thing In this day and age, right, we were talking about it and you and I are both divorced, right? Yes, if we were married and we had to go to a picnic and your ex-husband was there, right? It's basically the same thing as what would go on here. This is for recreation. You do this. You don't have to look at this guy weird, but it's just. It happened. It was a decision between the three of us.
Speaker 1:Well, isn't it about the other person?
Speaker 2:watching Listen, I'm confusing the two stories. I want to make sure I'm clear on this, because I'm not saying that we would do that with your ex-husband. I'm saying you already had a relationship with your ex-husband?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Right, and I had to go to picnic with him. Sit there at the table and eat cheeseburgers. It wouldn't be weird. Well, no, right, right. So that would basically be what hot wifing would be.
Speaker 1:It's a little bit of a downplay on that, I think, but I mean, this is basically the husband watching the wife do this right.
Speaker 2:A lot of times. Yes, which is a different level of I get it, but afterwards, after everything's done, if you knew the person or if you hired them or whatever you know. I don't know how it works, I don't know. I know there's websites for it and you can hire, like porn stars, come over and do that could hire porn stars. Yeah, wow yeah, there's like three or four different major sites, really, yeah, where you can just hire somebody. They're regional, so wherever you are, they've got people.
Speaker 1:Wow Okay, they just come on over.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know Apparently, though Apparently they just come over. They're all hopped up on Viagra.
Speaker 1:Old school. I'm here for the gangbang, true love.
Speaker 2:True love is when you uh take the direct flight home at 2 pm and uh find a bunch of naked people in your closet that's interesting. Yeah, hiring a porn star yeah you can hire them you can, yeah, and I think there's all different categories of it too but it's like a connection, not a hiring.
Speaker 1:You're not paying the person but. I would hope you can't legally put it out there that you want to be paid for it I have no idea, I don't know, I they might, they might charge a member.
Speaker 2:I. I don't know, I didn't look at this.
Speaker 1:I don't, I don't know, membership fees to the sites or something like that is what you're saying I got this out of the articles I was reading about hot hot wifing right, okay and, uh, I don't know if there's, I don't know how it works, but if there's a membership, which I would assume there is, the website pays them. Right, okay. All right, yeah, that's different yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay. So I don't know, I have no idea. They've legalized gambling. Why can't they legalize sex like this? Like what the hell?
Speaker 1:These are a little different. What kind of world are we living? Yourself? For certain things, I don't really know why people care but whatever hey OnlyFans is making a killing Exactly, and that's not considered prostitution.
Speaker 2:Well, they're not actually having sex with each other, they're just putting stuff out there.
Speaker 1:True, True, true. Yeah, I even so I don't some of the laws I don't really get, Not that I'm by any means looking to go to that, so please just make that very clear I know, I just thought this was fascinating I'm like, oh, I want to go do that, you know after you get divorced, you have, uh, not a lot to do, so porn becomes a vital little tool you might need.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, and I noticed hot waving all the time and I was like, wow, let's go, this is neat and I would watch it a lot. I did not know it was a trend, had no idea, and now here we are talking about on the podcast whole article that popped up yeah, which I'm glad you brought it up, because now I'm in.
Speaker 2:I think you may have just said you kind of were well I, I would probably do it if it worked out with my spouse, right? Uh, I would probably do it If it worked out with my spouse Right, I would probably do it. I'd entertain it, because I know where I was in my marriage and I know what I did yeah. And maybe if I thought about this, but I would probably entertain it. Okay, who knows, that's just me, though. I also think everybody should have sex anyway.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you've got a weird. I shouldn't really necessarily understand it.
Speaker 2:Just get that question mark out of the way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, see, I don't have that question mark for everybody I meet, so it's not really a thing I have to think about.
Speaker 2:Maybe not at first, but sometimes it happens. That's what I'm just saying. Everybody should just do it and get it out of the way.
Speaker 1:But it could also really complicate things in a lot of ways as well.
Speaker 2:Not if it was accepted.
Speaker 1:There's so many different factors to that I don't think that you can say that as a broad statement.
Speaker 2:I tell you when a girl gets it off the table, like that doesn't, yeah. I mean this all invites a lot of things into your life that you may not want Like this all boils down to personal preference and personal decisions Like uh then are you going to tell anybody that you did it? Are you going to let it be known Like people you know, right? No, that you did it. Are you gonna let it be known like people, right? No, I know oh they're swingers. Oh, yeah, oh yeah, they swing right.
Speaker 1:First of all, let me say this about swingers oh boy, here we go I think way more people swing than you even think about oh, I'm sure like I would say our parents uh well, it's not even a thought in my head, but no, on my side, but um, but I'm saying like I bet you more people swing than you know Probably.
Speaker 2:And some of them are just ones that say, hey, we do it, then you've got to be invited into like a secret society and this. That the third.
Speaker 1:You have the pineapples outside their house.
Speaker 2:You have all weirdo lighting and shag carpeting and robes and lotions.
Speaker 1:Oh God, it's so weird when you think about that that it makes it like, oh ew, oh boy, it's funny. How did we become this topic today?
Speaker 2:because you picked it. Uh, you picked it, you sent it to me. You sent it to me and I said yeah, I said maybe you sent me the article I say the article and I said this should be a topic and here we are, but you sent it to article. I sent you the article and I said this should be a topic, and here we are.
Speaker 1:But you sent it to me, agreed we wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for you. Yeah, agree. Okay, I will take the credit for this.
Speaker 2:This is all your fault. I'm going to go sign up for one of them sites and see if I can be a participant.
Speaker 1:Just so they'll call you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll be the third guy. I'll get paid for it. I got to make ends meet now.
Speaker 1:Oh my.
Speaker 2:God, I got it. What is the other?
Speaker 1:person called. I wonder, Like there's the hot wife.
Speaker 2:The third wheel.
Speaker 1:Who's the guy? The third wheel or the other person? Third wheel is what?
Speaker 2:they're called. What do we do afterwards? We go out to dinner.
Speaker 1:Like how does this work? I don't think you become best friends.
Speaker 2:Well, that's what you pay a prostitute for anyway, isn't it To leave afterwards?
Speaker 1:But they're not being paid, is what?
Speaker 2:we discussed? No, I know.
Speaker 1:But I would think in most cases it probably just goes away. I don't think you all hang out for the night after and have dinner, do?
Speaker 2:you give them both a hug and kiss. Oh, great night tonight. Hope you get around Good times.
Speaker 1:I have no idea.
Speaker 2:That's some shit. What is this coming to? I?
Speaker 1:don't know.
Speaker 2:Anyway, we're getting to the end.
Speaker 1:Oh boy, all right guys.
Speaker 2:Listen, hot wife, if you must.
Speaker 1:Hot husbanding too, by the way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I honestly want to look more into hot husbanding Because I want to see. If that's a thing, I'll definitely do that. Good luck, why not? All right, everybody, thanks for joining us this week. Hope you guys had a good week. Check back in with us. Head over to sakitumicom and like and subscribe and, as always, guys, be good. Hey everybody, it's Ditto.
Speaker 2:I want to give a shout out to my buddy, larry over at Legendary Graphics. He designed our logo for us, came out fantastic. He does wraps. He does all kinds of customized stuff for you. If you get a chance, go to Legendarycom. That's Legendarycom. Check it out for anything you need. Alright, guys, thanks be good. Saki Domi, that's legendarycom. Check it out for anything you need. All right, guys, thanks Be good. Socky Doobie. Hey everybody, it's Ditto. Thanks for checking out our show today. Hope you enjoyed it. If you did subscribe to us, we can hook up, interact. You can tell us what you like about the show, talk about what you don't like about the show, give us information and insight. We we only want to make the show better for you guys. Also, if you get a chance, head over to someassemblynet. That's our sponsor and you can really do some business. All right, as always, everybody be good.
Speaker 1:Sake to me you.
Speaker 2:Heart-wifing.
