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Sockeytome
The Hotwife Trend
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Would opening your relationship save it or destroy it? In this provocative episode, we tackle the increasingly popular relationship trend known as "hot wifing"—where couples consensually invite a third person into their sexual experiences while participating together.
Far from a simple discussion about sex, our conversation explores how this practice fundamentally differs from both traditional open relationships and cuckolding. While many might dismiss it as taboo, we unpack how it potentially creates unprecedented levels of trust, honesty, and communication between partners.
"The longer the leash you give them, the closer they stay," becomes our surprising insight into why this practice might actually strengthen rather than weaken relationship bonds. We candidly discuss how untapped desires and unspoken needs often lead couples into communication deadlocks, and why addressing these taboos head-on could transform relationships even if partners never act on the fantasies.
The conversation doesn't shy away from potential pitfalls. We acknowledge that pressure, unequal enthusiasm, or poor communication could turn this experience into a relationship-ender rather than a relationship-saver. And we tackle the uncomfortable truth that many relationships need serious communication renovation before even considering such adventures.
Through our honest dialogue, we challenge conventional wisdom about relationships, questioning whether traditional monogamy serves everyone equally well, and whether modern couples might benefit from more courageous conversations about their needs and desires. We also explore fascinating gender differences in attraction and how these influence relationship dynamics.
Whether you're curious about alternative relationship models, looking to improve communication with your partner, or simply interested in understanding evolving social trends, this episode offers valuable insights into human connection, vulnerability, and the ever-changing landscape of modern relationships.
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What Is Hot Wifing?
Speaker 2hey everybody, welcome to sake to me. Hey, everybody, welcome back to sake to me, where we connect people to people, even if it includes hot wifing. Hey it, it's me Detto. I'm back here with Casey, hi everyone, and we are going to get into that whole new trend that seems to be taking the country by storm, at least in porn. Oh boy, hot wifing is a thing that's up and coming.
Speaker 1Hot wifing.
Speaker 2Yeah, tell me about it.
Speaker 1I've seen it. I did not see it on the porn thing, that's not where it popped up for me. But yeah, apparently guys let their wives do things with other guys.
Speaker 2I don't think that's really it.
Speaker 1Well, I mean, that's the start of it, I guess, right.
Speaker 2Well, I think it's more than that. I think it's an intimate thing with couples.
Speaker 1I agree, I think you have to obviously have a very strong agreement relationship, commitment to it.
Speaker 2Yeah, obviously yeah, but I think it's got the possibility to work wonders.
Speaker 1I agree, I could see how that could work.
Speaker 2I mean it's like it's opening up the ability to be as free as you can, not feeling trapped in a line of communication that has never really been open before.
Speaker 1Right Together, right Together, yes, yes.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's not like you're going around cheating, but you get a sense of that freedom a little bit, right, and you guys get to talk about it, yeah, which will open up other things. Because the trust gets built, yes, thing is, because the trust gets built, yes, right, I didn't even realize it was a trend like it is I didn't either until you said it to me and I'm like yeah, I know what it is. Do you know what?
Speaker 1how hot wifing is? Yeah, hot wifing. You called it house wifing.
Speaker 2I know not house wifing it's a whole different thing, whole different thing.
Speaker 1That's what trad yeah, those are the people I like, the whole gender.
Speaker 2Oh, I'm gonna cook clean, do all that, yeah we'll touch on that a little bit later, but uh, what are your thoughts on this?
Speaker 1I don't know. I mean I can see if you're in the relationship that you've talked about all of it, you're open and you're honest and you can commit to that and that's what you both want. I mean I can see how it could be a good thing. It's not a terrible thing if you're all in agreement, obviously, which I think you have to be right well, yeah it's.
Speaker 2It's hard to say.
Speaker 1I guess if you go into it, you at least your first time you have no idea how it's going to become well, true, I mean, I guess but even that you've talked about it before you've gone into it and agreed that maybe it won't go as well as you think it's going to go exactly, but you'll at least both know at that point, correct, because this is completely different than having an open relationship yeah, because you do.
Trust and Communication Benefits
Speaker 2you do this together Exactly. It's like the other person is just a live sex toy. Really, that's what it is.
Speaker 1I know it's funny to think about it that way, but yes, yeah, the open relationship is probably even harder. I would think I don't know.
Speaker 2The open relationship was a bad version of this.
Speaker 1Yeah, because you're doing it on your own.
Speaker 2Yeah, it kept secrets and started things You're doing it on your own?
Speaker 1Yeah, it kept secrets and started things. It's like if you don't tell somebody, they don't know, so who knows if they're really telling you everything, right? So, yeah, this at least the other person's involved in. It seems like it's something you're doing together as a couple as opposed to separately, right?
Speaker 2So I'm not against it and even if you guys talked about it and decided not to do it Right, married talked about it and decided not to do it right, married couple decides not to do it.
Speaker 1Yeah, that line of communication will still open up other types of communication and trust yeah, absolutely so I think it's a fucking great thing yeah, I mean, it's hard to see that it could well. I mean, I guess you could see that it could be a bad thing, but obviously these are things that people are both in agreement to, where the open relationship. There is definitely more of a risk of misinterpretation. Oh, you should have done this, you should have done that. You were supposed to tell me all those things where this, you're doing it together. How do you argue that?
Speaker 2you can't, because you did it together exactly and then nobody's so nobody's at fault yeah, right, yeah, but I guess, like you said, it could go bad. It could be like you didn't think it was like you thought it was going to be, absolutely. And your partner thought it was better than they thought it was going to be.
Speaker 2Yeah, and now you can argue for it, because now you're like, well, I don't want to do it, oh man, but if you can work through that, there's one more thing that you can work through. So who knows? I just find it funny because every time I ever look at a porn site, it's always hot wife, hot wife, hot, really yeah, and I never understood. I thought it was just a thing in porn yeah, the article popped up randomly the other day son of a gun.
Speaker 2Huh, yeah, it's, I don't know. I personally think it's a great thing. I've already said that I think and it's it's much better than cuckolding, which is the newer, more modern form of cuckolding, because it was more like a dominance thing for cuckolds okay the guy would have to sit in a corner right tied up like he just came from a bakery oh my god didn't get to do anything so bad. He looked like Hannibal Lecter with a mask on and stuff.
Speaker 1It is a little odd.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's just like what the hell.
Speaker 1What does it go the other way? Wives watch their husbands.
Speaker 2I don't see why it can't or shouldn't, but dudes are ugly.
Speaker 1Yeah, I mean, but so are some women, but yeah.
Speaker 2Well, that's true, that's a good point.
Hot Wifing vs. Open Relationships
Speaker 1But it popped up like one thing that said you know hot husbanding? And it said it's not as frequent because because it's hard to find guys that are ugly or that attractive we're all fat and hairy, which is awful to think of I also don't think men and women actually view sex in the same way. It's definitely viewed differently, I think, on each perspective, and I don't know that that means that you can't agree on things, but I don't know.
Speaker 2I don't know how to say this. I don't think women look at men the way men look at women, Like we're talking about hot wifing.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 2And then we said hot husbands, there aren't any. I don look at women like we're talking about hot, wifing right. And then we said hot husbands, there aren't any. I don't think you guys are, I don't think I don't think females look at males like they're oh, they're hot. They don't. They look at him like he's funny, he works he does this, that's what you're attracted to, right, not so. Men are superficial. Basically is what I'm saying I don't know.
Speaker 1There's definitely an attraction with looks and things like that as well.
Speaker 2Of course there is, or else we wouldn't have the Ben Afflecks and Brad Pitts of the world.
Speaker 1Right, right.
Speaker 2Yeah, there are. I get it, but when you go look at any magazine, there's usually women all over it. Beautiful women, true. How many gorgeous men do you see anywhere? I'm like there's no male swimsuit issue you know what I mean.
Speaker 1You're right, there's no male swimsuit.
Speaker 2Swimsuit issue yeah, there's no, mr america is there?
Speaker 1there might be. I feel like there is like a mr universe or something so they might not want to go that far they don't broadcast it.
Speaker 2Now there is beach volleyball for men, but it's not nearly as popular as women, women's beach, because they're in bikinis.
Speaker 1That's my point to this I get it, I hear you. Yeah, I don't, I don't know. I think there's still definitely that attraction. I think you just don't see it as frequently, don't they have, like the fire calendars, the fireman calendars?
Speaker 2that's a solid point. Yes, but that's with a profession. I'm not. I'm not looking at secretary calendars. Do you know what I mean? I'm done good. Oh, when's the new female attorney calendar come out? Never know it's coming out. When is it?
Speaker 1what's the new female attorney calendar come out. Never know, it's coming out.
Speaker 2When's the new bank lady, the new librarian calendar?
Speaker 1True, okay, I get you?
Speaker 2That's what I'm saying. Women are more attracted to not necessarily physical looks and features, but more intelligence, true Security, right Stuff like that. Now there are features you're going to, but more intelligence, true Security, right Stuff like that. Now there are features you're going to be attracted to. Yeah, but I could be a big, fat, chubby guy, which I am.
Speaker 1Oh God.
Speaker 2With a sense of humor and generally just a nice overall, affable appearance, and you might be attracted to me.
Speaker 1Possibly.
Speaker 2But you're not looking at me because I'm like chiseled from stone.
Speaker 1Unfortunately, you are not chiseled from stone at this point. So yeah, you can pretend that.
Speaker 2No, I'm chiseled from a pear, a pear, I'm pear-shaped, pear-shaped, oh my God. Anyway, yeah, it's crazy because I feel like this should have happened a very long time ago.
Speaker 1Well, who knows, maybe it did, we just aren't aware of it. It wasn't a talked about thing.
Speaker 2I will go out on a limb and I'll say, if it did and it was a trend like this and it was up and coming as fast as it is divorce would have dropped.
Gender Differences in Attraction
Speaker 1I don't know. I mean, do you really think that would save a marriage? I don't think that saves things, makes things a little spicier, you know whatever, but I don't know that it's going to save something.
Speaker 2If you were ever put in that situation, would you do that?
Speaker 1No, Possibly, but I don't think that would save or ruin something. You already have to be on that level of trust and be okay with things in agreement in order to be at that point, and I don't see how that would save a marriage.
Speaker 2Well, let's face it, marriage is stuck in a rut sometimes.
Speaker 1I save a marriage. Well, let's face it, marriage is stuck in a rut. Sometimes I hate using that term, yeah, but it's not only sex that's the issue.
Speaker 2Usually yes. There's a lot of things going on and that's why this is becoming. Anybody that has been interviewed or asked about it or you know willingly enough to reply to it, has said it's helped and saved their marriages.
Speaker 1Actually saved, like helped, okay, because everybody has, changes things up and gives you something new, and it's definitely something you could do together, which is nice but, like we were talking about earlier, it changes your way you speak to each other correct, which will start to change everything else around you.
Speaker 2Yeah, right, yeah, so basically it becomes a different way of looking at something where it was always supposed to be taboo to have multiple sexual partners, now you're doing this together, so it opens up different avenues and different things and you can discuss things differently because now you're both looking at it more in the same direction, right, which is like giving somebody the longer the leash you give them, the closer they stay. True. So people a lot of times people in relationships have wants and needs that they don't say.
Speaker 1Agree.
Speaker 2And because of that, that's when you end up getting stuck in a rut. You just do the same thing over and over becomes routine. This is a little spark plug for both of you to do. I'm not saying you have to do it. You could just decide to go out and take art classes together too. Right, probably the same thing, right maybe a little bit different, but yes but all in all, we all know that we're checking out other people, no matter what you can say. You don't do it, but you do, I do it.
Speaker 2I do it all the time right uh, and then you wonder sometimes about different stuff, and then you're like and then you talk to people and they're talking about things they do and you're like, why don't we do those things and all that stuff? Because you don't speak to each other in a manner which is going to help you get to those points Right. This is one of those things that breaks down a massive barrier in relationships. It allows you to be able to talk to each other more openly, more honestly, more frankly, and then you can realize they can begin to realize that you can do that with other things also, so everything begins to improve now.
Speaker 1It can also cause issues. It can also cause issues, so Because one may not be as open and they may even go along with it to try and make the other person happy. But that's you see that, oh, I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it, and then you get to that point, and are they really going to do it? And then it turns into a disaster.
Speaker 2So You're in a rut, you're in a routine, you're both like tired of everything, you're not really getting along. It could be heading for divorce anyway. Most likely is, given the statistics that have been put out there, right, and it and people begin to start looking elsewhere for excitement and fun and stuff like that, right. So you're headed for a divorce, most likely anyway, given the nature of the statistics. Only right, you're gonna get divorced anyway. What do you got to get divorced anyway? What do you get to lose at that point? What do you have to lose by not doing this?
Speaker 1Listen, I don't think bringing it up or talking about it is a terrible thing for anything. If it's something somebody really wants especially like if that's something you're looking to think about and do and it's a fantasy, you have, great.
Speaker 2First of all, if you really want it, if you're really trying to push this, push your partner into it, right, you're going to fail.
Speaker 1True.
Speaker 2You're going to fail at it because you obviously already want it way more than you have the wrong intentions of this Agree, right, yeah. You have to have delicate conversations with your significant other about it for a little bit to feel them out and just get those lines of communication open and going. Yeah, it's like building a river. It'll start as a trickle and then turn into a massive Mississippi and if you do it wrong you'll ruin it all anyway. That's a lot of times where it comes from.
Speaker 1I mean, I don't know the statistics on who's open to things, who's not.
Speaker 2Oh, I don't have any of that Exactly, so who?
Speaker 1knows, I mean your partner may be very.
Speaker 2Against it.
Speaker 1Totally horrified that you even brought it up.
Could This Save Marriages?
Speaker 2Right, which means, and if you want it, you have to start thinking about whether or not you've made the right person your partner for life. Yeah, these are some of the things that were never able to be talked about because they're so taboo.
Speaker 1Right, no, I know yeah.
Speaker 2And now I would go out on a limb and say that if you're in a marriage and it's not going all that well, if your option was to cheat, go out and cheat on your spouse, right, you should do this first if your partner's willing no, bring it up oh, bring it up, not go out and fulfill the act but bring this up.
Speaker 2You should bring this up first and then find out. I, because instead of just going out there and doing it, you've you're going to ruin the marriage anyway. But if you bring it up, at least you have the opportunity to maybe not do that and still get some satisfaction for yourself out of this.
Speaker 1Yeah, I see what you're saying. I just think that a lot of people are not going to be as open to it and would be offended by it and maybe just take it as a and going and cheating. And doing something on your own is again different than doing what we discussed, this hot wifing thing. That is totally different than cheating. I know it is.
Speaker 2But if you're leaning toward that way in your relationship, this would be a better avenue to bring up first. Then at least if your spouse was not into it, did not want to do that.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 2Now you can make a decision. You obviously know that this isn't going in a direction you would like it to. The responsible thing to do is file for divorce, get out and go find somebody else. But you would be able to say to yourself, well, cheating, it's my only option now, right, because you brought it up. And then you say, well, you don't want to do this, I'm going to go out there and do it myself.
Speaker 1No, that's not the same thing, though that's bad advice.
Speaker 2No, that was bad advice, it was a joke.
Speaker 1Like no.
Speaker 2I don't see the harm in it.
Speaker 1I don't see the harm if it's something, Especially if it's something you Listen.
Speaker 2It's not something every single couple is ever going to discuss. I think it's something that every single couple should entertain, at least Really. Yes, absolutely All right. In fact, when you go to get married in a church, the priest should ask you about this stuff.
Speaker 1The priest should ask you huh.
Speaker 2Absolutely.
Speaker 1He knows more than anybody else, it might be against the priest's beliefs. Yeah, I mean, I think if it's something you guys want to talk about and get into, that's fine.
Speaker 2I mean, everybody has their own thing In this day and age, right, we were talking about it and you and I are both divorced, right? Yes, if we were married and we had to go to a picnic and your ex-husband was there, right? It's basically the same thing as what would go on here. This is for recreation. You do this. You don't have to look at this guy weird, but it's just. It happened. It was a decision between the three of us.
Speaker 1Well, isn't it about the other person?
Speaker 2watching Listen, I'm confusing the two stories. I want to make sure I'm clear on this, because I'm not saying that we would do that with your ex-husband. I'm saying you already had a relationship with your ex-husband?
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 2Right, and I had to go to picnic with him. Sit there at the table and eat cheeseburgers. It wouldn't be weird. Well, no, right, right. So that would basically be what hot wifing would be.
Speaker 1It's a little bit of a downplay on that, I think, but I mean, this is basically the husband watching the wife do this right.
How It Works Practically
Speaker 2A lot of times. Yes, which is a different level of I get it, but afterwards, after everything's done, if you knew the person or if you hired them or whatever you know. I don't know how it works, I don't know. I know there's websites for it and you can hire, like porn stars, come over and do that could hire porn stars. Yeah, wow yeah, there's like three or four different major sites, really, yeah, where you can just hire somebody. They're regional, so wherever you are, they've got people.
Speaker 1Wow Okay, they just come on over.
Speaker 2Yeah, I don't know Apparently, though Apparently they just come over. They're all hopped up on Viagra.
Speaker 1Old school. I'm here for the gangbang, true love.
Speaker 2True love is when you uh take the direct flight home at 2 pm and uh find a bunch of naked people in your closet that's interesting. Yeah, hiring a porn star yeah you can hire them you can, yeah, and I think there's all different categories of it too but it's like a connection, not a hiring.
Speaker 1You're not paying the person but. I would hope you can't legally put it out there that you want to be paid for it I have no idea, I don't know, I they might, they might charge a member.
Speaker 2I. I don't know, I didn't look at this.
Speaker 1I don't, I don't know, membership fees to the sites or something like that is what you're saying I got this out of the articles I was reading about hot hot wifing right, okay and, uh, I don't know if there's, I don't know how it works, but if there's a membership, which I would assume there is, the website pays them. Right, okay. All right, yeah, that's different yeah.
Speaker 2Okay. So I don't know, I have no idea. They've legalized gambling. Why can't they legalize sex like this? Like what the hell?
Speaker 1These are a little different. What kind of world are we living? Yourself? For certain things, I don't really know why people care but whatever hey OnlyFans is making a killing Exactly, and that's not considered prostitution.
Speaker 2Well, they're not actually having sex with each other, they're just putting stuff out there.
Speaker 1True, True, true. Yeah, I even so I don't some of the laws I don't really get, Not that I'm by any means looking to go to that, so please just make that very clear I know, I just thought this was fascinating I'm like, oh, I want to go do that, you know after you get divorced, you have, uh, not a lot to do, so porn becomes a vital little tool you might need.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, and I noticed hot waving all the time and I was like, wow, let's go, this is neat and I would watch it a lot. I did not know it was a trend, had no idea, and now here we are talking about on the podcast whole article that popped up yeah, which I'm glad you brought it up, because now I'm in.
Speaker 2I think you may have just said you kind of were well I, I would probably do it if it worked out with my spouse, right? Uh, I would probably do it If it worked out with my spouse Right, I would probably do it. I'd entertain it, because I know where I was in my marriage and I know what I did yeah. And maybe if I thought about this, but I would probably entertain it. Okay, who knows, that's just me, though. I also think everybody should have sex anyway.
Speaker 1Yeah, you've got a weird. I shouldn't really necessarily understand it.
Speaker 2Just get that question mark out of the way.
Speaker 1Yeah, see, I don't have that question mark for everybody I meet, so it's not really a thing I have to think about.
Speaker 2Maybe not at first, but sometimes it happens. That's what I'm just saying. Everybody should just do it and get it out of the way.
Speaker 1But it could also really complicate things in a lot of ways as well.
Speaker 2Not if it was accepted.
Speaker 1There's so many different factors to that I don't think that you can say that as a broad statement.
Final Thoughts and Considerations
Speaker 2I tell you when a girl gets it off the table, like that doesn't, yeah. I mean this all invites a lot of things into your life that you may not want Like this all boils down to personal preference and personal decisions Like uh then are you going to tell anybody that you did it? Are you going to let it be known Like people you know, right? No, that you did it. Are you gonna let it be known like people, right? No, I know oh they're swingers. Oh, yeah, oh yeah, they swing right.
Speaker 1First of all, let me say this about swingers oh boy, here we go I think way more people swing than you even think about oh, I'm sure like I would say our parents uh well, it's not even a thought in my head, but no, on my side, but um, but I'm saying like I bet you more people swing than you know Probably.
Speaker 2And some of them are just ones that say, hey, we do it, then you've got to be invited into like a secret society and this. That the third.
Speaker 1You have the pineapples outside their house.
Speaker 2You have all weirdo lighting and shag carpeting and robes and lotions.
Speaker 1Oh God, it's so weird when you think about that that it makes it like, oh ew, oh boy, it's funny. How did we become this topic today?
Speaker 2because you picked it. Uh, you picked it, you sent it to me. You sent it to me and I said yeah, I said maybe you sent me the article I say the article and I said this should be a topic and here we are, but you sent it to article. I sent you the article and I said this should be a topic, and here we are.
Speaker 1But you sent it to me, agreed we wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for you. Yeah, agree. Okay, I will take the credit for this.
Speaker 2This is all your fault. I'm going to go sign up for one of them sites and see if I can be a participant.
Speaker 1Just so they'll call you.
Speaker 2Yeah, I'll be the third guy. I'll get paid for it. I got to make ends meet now.
Speaker 1Oh my.
Speaker 2God, I got it. What is the other?
Speaker 1person called. I wonder, Like there's the hot wife.
Speaker 2The third wheel.
Speaker 1Who's the guy? The third wheel or the other person? Third wheel is what?
Speaker 2they're called. What do we do afterwards? We go out to dinner.
Speaker 1Like how does this work? I don't think you become best friends.
Speaker 2Well, that's what you pay a prostitute for anyway, isn't it To leave afterwards?
Speaker 1But they're not being paid, is what?
Speaker 2we discussed? No, I know.
Speaker 1But I would think in most cases it probably just goes away. I don't think you all hang out for the night after and have dinner, do?
Speaker 2you give them both a hug and kiss. Oh, great night tonight. Hope you get around Good times.
Speaker 1I have no idea.
Speaker 2That's some shit. What is this coming to? I?
Speaker 1don't know.
Speaker 2Anyway, we're getting to the end.
Speaker 1Oh boy, all right guys.
Speaker 2Listen, hot wife, if you must.
Speaker 1Hot husbanding too, by the way.
Speaker 2Yeah, I honestly want to look more into hot husbanding Because I want to see. If that's a thing, I'll definitely do that. Good luck, why not? All right, everybody, thanks for joining us this week. Hope you guys had a good week. Check back in with us. Head over to sakitumicom and like and subscribe and, as always, guys, be good. Hey everybody, it's Ditto.
Episode Wrap-up
Speaker 2I want to give a shout out to my buddy, larry over at Legendary Graphics. He designed our logo for us, came out fantastic. He does wraps. He does all kinds of customized stuff for you. If you get a chance, go to Legendarycom. That's Legendarycom. Check it out for anything you need. Alright, guys, thanks be good. Saki Domi, that's legendarycom. Check it out for anything you need. All right, guys, thanks Be good. Socky Doobie. Hey everybody, it's Ditto. Thanks for checking out our show today. Hope you enjoyed it. If you did subscribe to us, we can hook up, interact. You can tell us what you like about the show, talk about what you don't like about the show, give us information and insight. We we only want to make the show better for you guys. Also, if you get a chance, head over to someassemblynet. That's our sponsor and you can really do some business. All right, as always, everybody be good.
Speaker 1Sake to me you.
Speaker 2Heart-wifing.
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