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Sockeytome
The Household Pests
The battle against uninvited houseguests rarely ends with a simple victory. From the silent destruction of termites costing Americans billions annually to the midnight cricket that drove one host to strip naked and hunt it down, our latest episode dives deep into the frustrating world of household pests.
Did you know a mature termite colony can consume up to a pound of wood daily? Or that carpenter bees create not just structural damage but entry points for water – potentially causing far more destruction than the insects themselves? We share shocking facts about common pests while trading war stories from our own pest control nightmares.
What makes this conversation particularly valuable is our practical approach to solutions. We explore both traditional and unconventional methods: from the effectiveness of cats against mice to homemade cricket traps using Coca-Cola. For pet owners, we tackle the challenging balance between finding solutions that eliminate pests without endangering beloved animals – including why natural remedies often disappoint while chemical options raise health concerns.
The episode takes unexpected turns as we recount personal horror stories, including a memorable middle-of-the-night encounter with a cricket that led to some questionable naked furniture climbing, and a painful bee infestation that resulted in multiple stings and the realization that "eco-friendly" spray might just make bees angrier, not deader.
Whether you're dealing with chipmunks ("designer mice") or stink bugs (that supposedly summon more when killed), this episode delivers equal parts practical advice, humorous mishaps, and camaraderie around a universal homeowner struggle. Listen now to arm yourself for the ongoing battle against nature's most persistent home invaders!
Come back every Tuesday for a new episode each week. You won't be dissappointed, I'll tell you that for free. Subscribe and like us over at sockeytome.com as we begin the best part of our journey into podcasting yet, interacting with all of you. Give us your email as we begin to have more promotions and contests along with my personal favorite, trivia. Thanks everyone and as always, be good.
hey, everybody, welcome to sake to me. Hey, everybody, welcome back sake to me, podcast that connects people to people, even if they're a bunch of pests***ing pests instead. Oh, I'm here with keebs, my man. Thanks for having me. My home ray. How's it going? Everybody, long time, no see, yeah, you've been. You've been a little, uh, avoiding. I've been doing stuff like what I've tried, uh, vinyl hats. I got a new. Yeah, well, you don't. You know what today is. I got a new? Yeah, well, you know what today is? Dolphin Day, nfl Draft oh, yeah, yeah, that's why Keebler's got the hat on.
Speaker 1:If the Patriots don't draft Travis Hunter, I'm going to lose it. You're going to lose your shit. I'm going to lose it, yeah, so I've been doing like many jobs. Yeah, I've only done, like you know, two or three days on most of them and then I give up. But I'm trying. I'm trying to find my niche In retirement.
Speaker 1:That is, you sound like a millennial Pretty much. If I'm not getting $30 a day, $30 an hour in my job, it's not for me and I can show up when I want. If I want, yeah, then I don't want it. F that ass. Yeah, hey, it is what it is. I can't even get my son to rake the lawn. No, I mean kids. Nowadays they don't work for their parents. No, you kidding me. Then he's like Dad, dad, can I get this? Yeah, stop With what money, bro? Yeah, where's your money? Where's your cash come from? Where's your money? Where's your cash come from? Where's your income? Oh, you don't have any. Well, I'll get it for my birthday next year. What, yeah, if you make it to your birthday, christmas and your birthday f? That s? Yeah, right, I agree, hey, we're here. We're here about pests.
Speaker 1:Yeah, household pests. This, this is right up your alley. No, I, I hate them. Well, most people do. I mean, the reason is this episode came up. Is we got some at our house right now? Yeah, you got like birds in the. We got birds belfry? Yeah, we sure do. They're up in the exhaust fan of our bathroom. Well, get them out.
Speaker 1:We've tried to hire somebody, but you know the guy's always too busy. Oh, I hope you're not speaking of me. Yeah, oh, you are, aren't you? Yes, I am. That's really good for business there, keebler. Well, I hope your tree house burns down. Yeah, thanks, buddy. Fuck, you're making cookies, but, yeah.
Speaker 1:But anyway, you, being a contractor, you must have come across a lot of household pests, oh God, come across a lot of household pests, oh God, yeah, in your day, yep, and my house alone In this house, oh God, yes, yeah, oh, I hate it, I hate it. Crickets, crickets, yeah Well, they're basically just noisy. They don't do a lot of damage compared to termites. Termites are horrible. Termites are horrible and you can't ever see them. No, that's the problem. Bees are also awful. Bees are terrible. And then, if you want to talk about your yard moles, groundhogs, oh yeah, all that stuff. And then even foxes, really, yeah, foxes dig holes, don't they? Well, they dig holes, yeah, yeah, I don't know, but anyway, they make dens, they live in dens. So, yes, but back to termites.
Speaker 1:What do you think the yearly average is of the damage they do in dollars in the United States? Oh God, it's got to be millions and millions, that's. People are pointing the thumbs up going higher. You mean to tell me it's billions? Yes, wow, between five and 30 billion. You know what the crazy part is. You know what the crazy part is. You know what the crazy part is. What's that? Is it's requirement, if you're selling a home, to have the inspection, absolutely, and then you have to have it fixed and then you claim it on insurance. You can get home. That's one of the pests that you can claim on homeowner's insurance. Yes, exactly, which is crazy. Those numbers are probably a little exaggerated. I would think so, because insurance is involved. Yes, so I got to go cut out a sill plate for you and put in a new one and replace it. It's going to take me about two hours. Yep, $9,000. Now that's exaggerated. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:Let me ask you this what kind of damage have you seen from termites? I've seen walls gone, absolutely gone, gone, I believe it. Like studs are gone. I had a remodel at my old house years ago and it was funny. You say that because we took the sheetrock down and this was on an interior wall and the stud was so brittle. I mean it was still there. But I took down a wall one time in a house, yep, and two studs just came out with it.
Speaker 1:Really, yeah, just dust, wow, complete dust. There's so many termite. You know how they burrow, they burrow and they, they put all those tracks in there. Yep, two studs completely gone, completely gone. Unbelievable. Yeah, it's insane what they do. That's one of the signs that you can tell you have termites. It's like a little sawdust, yeah, I mean, because you can't really tell, unless you can. You actually can hear them at night, at night, right, but then you can't hear them over.
Speaker 1:The crickets, bastards. I got a story about a cricket and I got a story about bees. Oh, bees, bees would bother me. The boring bees, yeah, the ones that dig holes right into the side of your house, right, they're awful, they eat away, just like termites. Well, yeah, plus, they can cause water damage because they start burrowing holes.
Speaker 1:Water gets in there, water gets in, and then they can cause water damage because they start burrowing holes. Water gets in there, water gets in, and then water goes all over. Water does whatever the hell it wants to, right, and you can't stop it. No, you can't, and there's no reason trying. People go crazy oh, put on six feet of ice and water now, yeah, okay, water's still going to find a way in, exactly, if it wants to get in there. Exactly, it will. You're not going to stop it. Before I was actually married it was at the time it would be my fiance Okay, we lived in this house, yep, and so we had two children.
Speaker 1:They had the upstairs bedrooms, gotcha, and we stayed in the basement. Okay, well, little did. I know that crickets were awful down there, and this is why I hate crickets Really. Yes, and so during the summer, right about now, right about this time of year, they're in there, they get in somehow, and I couldn't figure out how they were getting in. And then you could like, scare them and they'll stop, they'll stop, and you couldn't figure out how they were getting in. And then you can like, scare them and they'll stop, they'll stop, and you can't find them. And then you can't find them, you can't find them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so, without disgusting everybody here, but I was naked. Oh boy, I'm completely nude and there's one cricket I can't find. I'm up on a dresser, I'm down under the bed, I'm looking for this thing. I ended up ripping half the window apart. Are you shitting me, nate? Completely butt ass, nate, looking for this cricket. Oh, my god, I finally found it and I killed it. And then I went to bed.
Speaker 1:You couldn't have brought him outside. No, no, no. At that point, at that point, no, you're dead. You were dead to me. Tell your family goodbye. You could have just shut the hell up. At that point. No, this guy. You're dead.
Speaker 1:Jiminy wasn't making it, you were dead to me.
Speaker 1:Poor Jiminy, tell your family goodbye. C'est bonsoir. You could have just shut the hell up until the morning. Why don't you just start doing it at like 5 o'clock, like a rooster? Yeah, I'm standing up on the top of a cabinet. Yeah, completely naked, completely naked. Apparently, the rooster was out and I would be up for hours at times Don't they call the rooster a cock? And I couldn't sleep. Well, yeah, yeah, and that was me. You know we'll sidetrack there, but that was you. Yeah, that was one, blood-ass naked. That was one of my stories I can only imagine. Oh there, oh, I have another good one. It wasn't a good one for me, but it'll be a good story.
Speaker 1:But get back to your insects. Oh, my insects. Well, okay, a mature colony of termites. How much wood do you think they can eat in a day? Another fun fact Full colony, you know no-transcript. How about in pounds? Oh God, I don't know. They can eat a two-by-four in a day. What size two-by-four Is it standard eight-foot two-by-four? Well, how much does that weigh? Probably four or five pounds. They can eat up to a pound of wood a day, so that'd probably be maybe a third of a regular two-by-four. That would take them four or five days to eat, but still that's a lot of wood, dude, and they eat it for consumption.
Speaker 1:Now you got ants that eat it, carpenter ants To do damage. They don't consume it, they just gnaw the shit out of it. It's not, they don't know they're doing damage, they're building their own colony, they're building their. They're exactly right. Ants burrow into wood to make nests and they do a ton of damage. Only in the hundreds of thousands compared to termites. Jesus, still, it's still a lot of money, but you can't claim that.
Speaker 1:I don't think ants are claimable on homeowners. It doesn't matter, because it's basically the same. Okay, yes, termites are eating it. Yeah, because they're hungry. Ants are burrowing through because they want to build a nest. Yeah, but you can't necessarily tell the difference between the two uh patterns, I guess. Right, right, the burrows or whatever. Yep, so you could claim it was termites anyway. So I don't know why they wouldn't actually just put ants in there anyway. Right, because they're paying for it, no matter what. Oh, yeah, yeah, I agree. Anyway.
Speaker 1:Then you get the smaller ants too, the what do you call them, like the sugar ants or whatever? Yeah, the ones that are, the little brown ones that like Suck that, suck real bad, and get everywhere, yeah, in like millions of them at a time, millions and millions. Those are just as bad. The worst insects, honestly, right now that I can find are those bees, the bees, the bees, because I can't stop them. Well, that's exactly right. And if they make a nest big enough that the weight of their nest can do damage to walls and ceilings, yeah, it could collapse them. Plus, with the water, like we talked about getting in, going elsewhere Crickets, ants and all those ground-dwelling insects you can spray for them and kill them. Right, right, keep them away, bees, not as easy, no, not as easy at all. You have to like they get a. Basically, you gotta do those things. You gotta get foggers, fogger, yeah, you gotta fog them. You gotta kind of do it at night too, because when they're dormant, exactly, yeah, because they're too active during the day, Absolutely, you know.
Speaker 1:So another story oh boy, same basement, same bedroom, same naked. No, this time I had a shirt on, I'm just kidding, I had clothes on. Uh, I had clothes on, but sitting there and my ex-wife and I were like what's that noise you hear in the wall, in the wall in the basement, really, and they were coming up into the ceiling area. So my first floor, from the basement to the first floor, is insulated. Okay, for whatever reason, we did that, but anyway. So I'm like what the hell? So I pulled down some of the ceiling and I pulled down some of the insulation. Yep, bees are flying all over. Are you kidding? I must have gotten stung 27 times, wow, yeah, kidding, I must have gotten stung 27 times, wow, yeah. And I am now here.
Speaker 1:I am using this, uh, green type of bee spray because it's in a room. It's not like raid, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like a very eco-friendly, eco-friendly kind of more mild towards humans, humans. Yep, it's an eco-friendly bee spray, right, and it ain't killing them, it's just making them angry. Give me some more of that. I'm getting fucking stung. I can see it now. You motherfucking. Oh, my good God.
Speaker 1:I hate to laugh because I've been there, not in my house, but outside, with the lawnmower. You hit the underground bees, yeah, the underground. You hit a railroad tire or a bush and all of a sudden, bam, you're getting nailed. You're getting nailed and you don't see them coming. Nope, I hate bees. I hate bees. Bees suck and the only reason I hate them is because you don't see them. If I knew there was a nest and I was poking at it and I got stung, I'd be like, oh, I got st, they'd fight fair. But no, no, they're attacking like all you turn around, they're behind you. Bees are like women, they're covert. Just kidding, you're one crazy dude. We got another common.
Speaker 1:Another common pest that most people can relate to is mice. Yeah, they're a pain in the ass, but that's another thing you can catch with traps, all kinds of. I'll tell you a story about our boy, mr Miller, who, when he was living with me in my basement, comes up one morning. He had a pet mouse, a Keebler you don't have mice down there. I go, yeah, probably he goes, probably he goes. Dude, dude, I think I ran across my head last night. He goes, I'm gonna set up a trap. I go. Okay, I got traps here with you know, mousetrap with peanut butter. No, no, I set my own up. Oh boy, he's just sitting there with a bb gun. Well, he did sleep under. He did sleep with a sniper rifle, sniper, rifleniper rifle under his bed. I don't know if you ever knew that. Oh yeah, I knew it. Anyway, he sets up the bucket he was a Marine, he was a Marine Sets up the bucket with water with a plank, puts a little bit of food on the end of the plank you know the stick and he just lets him drown. He had like three of them the first night. He goes. I'll do things my way. He says you know he's giggling at it. Oh yeah, you can also get rid of them with a friendly pet called a cat. Yeah, if you have a mouse problem, you want to get a cat. You got to get a cat, 100%. Yep, you know that. Saying the early bird gets the worm, yeah Well, the early bird gets the worm, yeah Well, the second mouse gets the cheese, yeah, otherwise you're going to get Ricky Millard, poor bastard. Yeah, that mouse had no chance, no chance at all, zero chance.
Speaker 1:I have a major infestation around here every year and the biggest thing is trying to find stuff that's good for the dog. Well, you're exactly right, ms Maz. Yep, because we do the same stuff outside. We got shit going on and you can't put anything down because of the dogs. Yeah, and you want to find something that's effective but still good for the dogs? Right, what do you do? I have no idea. Me either, although I feel like ammonia.
Speaker 1:You think so Ammonia and or bleach not together, because that will explode, yeah, but I know ammonia keeps skunks away and rabbits away. Okay, because it smells like urine, yep, so they won't come around Necessarily, they won't come around Necessarily, they won't come around. So if you have a skunk infestation or a groundhog or a mole, you pour ammonia around your house and they tend to stay away. Okay, because it smells like urine. That sounds. I'll have to mention that one to Mrs Keebler. And then people told me bleach also works, but I'm like bleach, that seems like it would be.
Speaker 1:I don't want white grass. Yeah, I mean chlorophyll. Take, take care of my lawn, man, I don't. I don't want to be killing it. Yeah, but it's like, what do you do for animals? Yeah, I mean the nature, the natural stuff sucks, oh, yeah, and then it's gonna. It works like that, nope, nope, it doesn't work at all. Nope, you're exactly right.
Speaker 1:What did I do? I filled like a, I think I filled a little container with Coca-Cola. They put it on my stairs, really, going down into the basement, yep, to trap the crickets, really. Once they get, for whatever reason. I guess once they get in there, they can't get out. They can't get out. Okay, it's just a. It's like a cap of a small, I don't know Tupperware container. Yep, put Coca-Cola in it and, for whatever reason, they can't get out of it. Oh shit, I don't know why. Or they just sit there and they drink so much of it, I don't know, carbonation blows them up. I have no idea. Maybe have I tried crickets? Oh, crickets, you know what I heard? Crickets, that's how that worked, just crickets.
Speaker 1:And then there's another one where it's like to kill weeds and to keep bugs away. It's a mixture of like dish soap, bacon, soda, warm water and you mix it in like a 50 to 1 ratio and you spray it all over the place and it kills weeds and it keeps bugs away. I haven't tried it, so I don't know if it works or not. I was just told that the other day. Really, but the natural stuff doesn't seem to work. No, but they're making a boatload of money on it, yeah, and the stuff that works gives you cancer, oh, yeah. So it's like what the fuck do I want this shit for? It's like the, what's it? The ortho? Yeah, that's all you hear about is for killing weeds, like oh, if you were, you know around this stuff at this period of time from 1979 to 1990. You could join this class action suit. Yeah, you might be entitled to all kinds of money because you have methylceliomorphoma, whatever. That was close. Yeah, methylmethylmethylphilioma yeah, that one, that one. That's what I'm going with. Thank you, I'm not going to try it again. That was already enough.
Speaker 1:So any more stories on work sites? Well, I got stories on work sites. Yes, first of all, work is busy as F. Oh, good for you. To everybody out there listening, bear with us. I'm back to work, full swing. So now I'm balancing two jobs and my promotional duties have failed epically. Yeah, he's a busy dude, so I got to get back to it. But we're still recording, still put them up there, still every Tuesday.
Speaker 1:Sockytubingcom. Like and subscribe. Come find us. And I got hats, you do. Yeah, oh, keebler's in the hats. I got hats. I'm not going to give you one, no, I'll buy one. I'm a working man. Now You're going to have to. I do some umpiring.
Speaker 1:Just got hired today for another job. What'd you get? A far back position at Hawks Landing? Oh, really, yeah, free golf. I didn't work that into the conversation. It probably should have been one of the first things I asked.
Speaker 1:You know what, from now on, anytime you go for an interview, I'm not too bright. Call me first. Okay, all right, I will tell you what to look for. I am so good. I don't know if I get meals, drinks, golf, whatever. You don't listen to me, don't do that. But when do you start? Have you already started? Next Friday? Next Friday, which be May 2nd, I'm going to go there next Friday and just drop all my drinks on the floor. I'll be cleaning them up. Yes, you will, with a smile, and I'm going to be looking at you. I'm a paying customer. You can't touch me. It's going to be great, but congratulations on your job. Thanks, man. Thanks.
Speaker 1:Now we've got to get back to recording more frequently. Yeah, I'll be back. You were all about it. For like 10 seconds I was, and then you left behind dry. I miss you. You're the only reason this show goes. No, without you, we've got nothing. We've got the girls. The girls make it go. They're popular, are they? Yeah, are they? They are, are they? I've seen the latest polls. Yeah, they're scorching. It's Casey, t-botbot and then the two of us, just the two of us. It's somewhere out, though. I got the patio opened up. I want to start recording outside. Oh, that'd be great. And we'll have bugs all over the place. Oh, that'd be great, yeah, so outside.
Speaker 1:Getting back to the bugs, yep, I got this thing and tBot gave it to me. It's a bug zapper. Okay, right, it's a bug zapper, but it's not the type you would. Those are pretty effective. Well, you know the ones we're talking about, like mosquitoes, yeah, yeah, where it's a blue light hanging, yeah, it's not. Oh, it's like a cyclone tunnel, really. They fly into the blue light and then the little fan that's on it sucks them down a hole and they just die there. I've not seen that. Yeah, and they can't get out. Wow, and it works for, like, was it over an acre, really? Wow, yeah, it's supposed to suck all the bugs for over an acre. You've got less than an acre here, so let's take care of you, your neighbors. Well, we didn't have that many bugs last year. Guy across the street, oh, that across the street. Forget that, that's nonsense. But no, it got rid of most of the bugs. It wasn't all of them. I thought it would have been more effective, but it really did a decent job and I'll show you what it is after we're done here recording, and I'll show you. I got another quick one for you. It's a pest that really gets my goat.
Speaker 1:The fucking chipmunks man. I can't stand those things because they do a lot of damage. They're just designer mice Is that what they are? Yeah, they're fancy looking mice. Well, they're hard to get. Or mutant squirrels? Oh, squirrels Now that's another subject. They do a lot of chewing, you know, like plastics. Screens oh, yeah, they'll go right through it, they don't care. Wires I was so happy one died in my pool, oh, really Good job. But yeah, they're a handful Squirrels and chipmunks. Squirrels and chipmunks Chipmunks are so hard to catch. Oh, that's what a BB gun's for. Yeah, good luck shooting one of them.
Speaker 1:Those little screwers are fast, they're pretty fast. Oh, my God, they're shifty, they're shifty little bastards they are. I don't like them. I don't either. No, I swear to God every time, me, me, me, me, me, me.
Speaker 1:And they're like snakes because they, oh, they can, yeah, they can go left right. They've got peripheral vision. Yeah, but they're so quick and they'll be sitting there. Oh, no, you get too close. Yep, it's like a snake. It's like a snake in the grass All of a sudden, whoosh, remember when you were that quick back in the day? That was a long time ago. Yeah, I know, it was so long ago I forgot about it. That ball of the head didn't help anything. No, ouch, that hurt. Oh, no, you know what. Well, you know. Back to mice.
Speaker 1:They could contaminate your food source as well. Yes, because they shit in it. They shit in it and they eat crap. They eat everything. Shit in it. They shit in it and they eat crap. They eat everything. They eat anything. They eat insulation. Insulation is huge. Whatever they, they don't care. Nope, they're like larger cockroaches, except they die. They do die, they do die.
Speaker 1:Oh, those stink bugs. Yeah, how the hell do you get rid of those things? I don't know. But they claim, if you kill them, it tracks more. Yeah, and then they smell so bad. Yeah, you're the one who would.
Speaker 1:I remember I never, ever knew about those things until you did my windows. Yeah, and I think a couple flew in. You know, obviously there's no windows, but I'm like what the hell is that? It's a stink bug. It's a stink bug. Yeah, is that what it's called stink bug. I have no idea, I wonder. I'm probably calling it the whole. It's probably like a. I think everybody calls it a stink bug. Oh, fruit flies too. You've been called a stink bug. Excuse me, sir, you smell yourself After a tournament?
Speaker 1:Yes, I have, and I will agree with you. I did not smell quite that great. No, no, except for that time. One time, just one time. Yeah, we stopped at the strip club. Oh boy, I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding. There was a strip club involved when Florida, oh, florida, yeah, yeah, I got in a lot of trouble for that one. Yeah, you did. That's a story for another time, though. Yeah, you took down a bunch of our teammates. No, no, I didn't, they took down themselves.
Speaker 1:You can only lead a horse to water. You can't make it drink. Well, apparently you made Godova drink, hey, hey, hey, I didn't make him, he chose to, he chose to, yeah, and he, she didn't stop. Anyway, we're getting towards the end here. Oh boy, we gotta go on video now.
Speaker 1:It was good to be back, man. It was good to be back. It's good to have you back. Yeah, I miss you, buddy, I will do some more. I love it when you're here. I love you, ditto.
Speaker 1:Hey, you're the only one that says that. If, if Mazzy could speak, she would probably say the same thing. But that's it she. Yeah, the other ones, they're not too fond of you. No, few are. They tolerate you. Most people do. That's all you can do Because there's going to be something that's coming out. You're like a fine wine, you're an acquired taste. My friend Acquired. Yes, I'm like Novocaine. You can't wait for it to wear off. It's necessary, but you can't wait for it to wear off. All necessary, but you can't wait for it to wear off. Alright, my friend, we're at the end. Alright, man. Alright guys, thanks for listening.
Speaker 1:Sakajimicom, like and subscribe, and you know, as always, be good. Hey everybody, it's Ditto. I want to give a shout out to my buddy, larry over at Legendary Graphics. He designed our logo for us. It came out fantastic. He does wraps, he does all kinds of customized stuff for you. If you get a chance, go to Legendarycom. That's Legendarycom, check it out for anything you need. All right, guys, thanks, be good, saki to me. Hey everybody, it's Ditto. Thanks for checking out our show today. Hope you enjoyed it. If you did, subscribe to us, we can hook up, interact. You can tell us what you like about the show. Talk about what you don't like about the show. Give us information and insight. We'd appreciate it. We only want to make the show better for you guys. Also, if you get a chance, head over to someassemblynet. That's our sponsor and youcky doobie.
